a day in the life

and other stories….

Why I love the ‘ber’ months

If you are an avid tv junkie like I am (hence, the cebuana junkie), there’s so much to look forward to when the ‘ber’ months or autumn come. As we are almost halfway to September, my fave shows are just around the corner, and I’m excited!

How to Get Away With Murder


Season 1 was fast paced and and edge-of-your-seat thriller that I had to watch twice because I read somewhere that they were placing clues on each episode leading to Lila’s real killer.

I wonder how the characters will play out in season 2 as well as how the Keating 5 will outsmart each other to be the best student in Keating’s class. Plus I am excited for the love story of Connor and Oliver especially after finding out about Oliver’s condition.


HTGAWM returns on September 24!!!

Continue reading “Why I love the ‘ber’ months”

5 years in the making

I rained today. A heavy downpour in fact that I thought I could never make it to my appointment with Dr. M.

A little bit of history on Dr. M. :

When I first injured my left eye, right after my bicycle accident, I was seen by Dr. M’s dad. Back then, his father was one of the leading ophthalmologist in the city. In fact, when I got diagnosed with glaucoma, Dr. M was one of the first ophthalmologist I visited. However, he was still building his practice and my mother was ambivalent on having him operate on me. Not that he wasn’t good but back then, he was still very young.

After that appointment I had with the other corneal specialist, Dr. T aka the second opinion, who advised I get the prosthesis to stop all my suffering,  he recommended Dr. M.

Another history about Dr. M:

When I was in college and under the care of Dr. G for my glaucoma, I was feeling so down one day that I visited Dr. G asking him to take my eye away because it was making me feel ugly. That alarmed Dr. G which prompted him to set me an appointment with Dr. M. Dr. M and I discussed prosthetics and he explained the procedure of evisceration to me. Of course, all that talk about taking my eye out was made in a moment of anger and insecurity so when the feeling had passed and the information sunk in, I discovered I wasn’t entirely sold out on having my eye removed after-all.

Back then, Dr. M said that I should bring my parents in for further discussions on the operation which never happened because I never told my parents. I buried the feeling away as an instance of teenage insecurity which I hope to never deal with again.

The present:

Continue reading “5 years in the making”

second opinions

Believe that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

So the second opinion happened. I sought another corneal specialist that my doctor friend recommended and he advised prosthesis.

The first corneal specialist I went to, didn’t think prosthesis was an option at the moment although she suggested it on one of my visits a few months back. When I brought it up, she couldn’t even recall that she said that. Weird.

A friend said, I should seek a third consult. Just to balance it out. But do I need to? I feel as if it’s the end of the road already. Can I take another person  slapping the words to my face that my eye is basically dead?

I cried a bit when the second opinion laid the cards in front of me. Can you blame me? Even if I’ve wrapped the idea about my eye being dead, I always feel melancholic that it’s over.  A part of me has died and it’s not an easy one to accept.

How do doctors do this? How are they able to tell a patient without bursting into tears that they’re life is basically over. I know I’m being over dramatic because losing my eye doesn’t mean I’ll die but with my heart breaking, it feels like I am.

I know what I have to do but it’s just sad.

Young Love

I enjoy a good YA book because honestly, we all need a relaxed and feel good read after a hard day’s work, a stressful week or after a really violent medical thriller.

I have to admit though that it took a while for me to discover the joys of YA reading as the books I stumbled into were, in all honestly, a blah to read.

But then I found a couple of writers who wrote with honesty and believable stories that I can’t help but fall in love with them. Some even made me teary eyed.

These are some of my recommendations and favorites.

Jenny Han 

Han’s To all the boys I’ve loved before is a fresh and exciting story of young love that is yet to be acknowledged. It explores our first time of falling in love and dealing with the feelings that are new to us as adolescents. And everyone I recommended the book to, couldn’t help but fall in love with Peter Kavinsky. I mean, I never thought of a sexy and romantic Peter, but I do now.

Continue reading “Young Love”

Revisiting F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Friends was one of those shows that I grew up watching. I remember catching the series, although a bit late as local channels here in the Philippines seldom show American TV shows at the same time they are shown abroad.

A few years after, we got cable and I was able to catch it over at the Fox channel but they had a late time so I couldn’t follow with school the next day. I did promise myself when the show ended in 2004 that I would do a marathon from start to finish and I finally found the time. It’s 11 years after the show ended but it’s never too late.

In my opinion, Friends is the epitome of what it was like to be a young adult in the 90’s. I remember being excited on how my life would unfold after college and if my adult life would be as colorful as the characters in the show.

I also loved the friendship of the 6 characters. I love that they are all different however, they didn’t allow that to come between themselves. I mean, even when they’re angry, there is still that respect and honesty between them.  And if they got into any disputes, it was never difficult to ask for forgiveness and be forgiven.

I also love that they didn’t have the distraction that modern technology has brought into today’s time. It was wonderful to be able to talk to one another and have great conversations over coffee. We rarely see it now as we are all occupied with our cellfones and social media to make proper conversations.

In addition to all those lessons, the diversity of the characters makes us relate to them easily. There is a Monica, a Rachel, a Phoebe,a Ross, a Joey and a Chandler in all of us. In my opinion, Friends makes us see how others are different from us and still love them.

I also noticed that compared to the shows nowadays, Friends barely have any obscene languages that seem to be used in today’s shows. I like that their conversations are non offensive.

I’m glad I was able to revisit Friends and make the realization that although my life wasn’t as exciting as the ones they led, it was colorful just the same and it gives me hope that there are happy endings. Not perfect endings but happy and realistic.

Must love dogs!

I have a dog!

This is a big shocker for all of my friends since I grew up afraid of dogs. A lot of people often misunderstand that statement so I’ll clarify it here. I grew up afraid of dogs because according to my mother, when I was still a small child, a big dog came up to me while I was playing outside. It didn’t bite me or bark at me but I guess there’s something pretty scary about a big black dog that imprints into the very psyche of a child that starts the fear.

Anyway, I find dogs cute and I often wish in my heart that I didn’t have that horrible experience so I can share the joy of having dogs as pets and friends.

This year, I plan to change all that as an uncle gave me one of their puppies. The puppy is actually mixed breed so I have no idea what breed it originated from. Nevertheless, I didn’t put to much thought on it because for one, its my first time to care for a dog and I might screw things up and kill the poor thing because of my ignorance. And two, I figured irregardless of its breed, a dog is still a dog.

I had his name picked out already although I haven’t seen him yet. I decided on the name, Rocco because it sounds both playful and unique.

Having a dog for the first time is stressful because I’m still half scared of it.Whenever I go outside, he runs to me and tries to play which is difficult as I have a pet peeve of anything running in my direction.

I have been watching Cesar Millan videos and reading books on how to care for dogs so I hope those can help me to care for Rocco.

So far, we have survived a week with him. I haven’t harmed the poor thing and despite my lack of participation in playing with him ( after-all, he still has a month to go before he gets his first vaccine), he seems happy in our household.

I really hope I can get over this fear because Rocco is a cute little pup and I would love to be his best buddy!

inxs: I’m trying to fatten him up! He’s still so tiny at 2 months old that he kinda looks like a chihuahua.

The Girl in the Spider’s Web

I know I am not alone when I say that we all have been waiting for the next book in the Millenium series. Sadly, the sudden demise of Stieg Larsson in 2004 has broken the hearts of everyone who has been following the life of the amazing Lisbeth Salander.

Anyway, The Girl in the Spider’s Web came out last august and I have yet to visit our local bookstore so I can get my copy.

David Lagercrantz has the happy privilege of continuing the series by Larsson. I have read that there was a custody battle between Larsson’s parents and his girlfriend on who gets the manuscript for the last book Larsson has written. Unfortunately, there was no mention online who won the case however, it was mentioned that Larsson’s girlfriend opposed Lagercrantz version since she has the unfinished manuscript of the writer’s last work. The article I read stated that the swedish publisher of the Millenium books, will be continuing with the series and it will be penned by Lagercrantz. According to Wiki, Larsson’s girlfriend is opposed to the idea of this 4th book since she has the unfinished 4th manuscript. I guess the swedish publishing house thought better to start with something fresh.

I cannot yet say what my thoughts are as I have yet to read the book, nevertheless, it makes me excited to once again delve into the adventures of Salander and Blomvist.

I’ll keep you guys posted!


According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, there are five stages of grief.

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. And Acceptance.

I feel like I have been going through these stages over and over in my life. The cycle never ends. And now, as I sit here in another clinic, to meet yet another eye doctor, I feel like I’ve opened another door for denial and asking the same questions I have been asking at the very start of this journey.

What do I hope to accomplish?

I don’t know. I am sure of one thing though. I am sure that I want to be free from any pain that my eye brings. I want to be normal in the definition that I am able to live a pain free life. I don’t want to be tied to this deficit and I want to have the chance to happily pursue my dreams and be free from rising intraocular pressures, or of multiple abrasions, or of eye medications, and the heartbreak of dying eyeballs. I want to wake up from this hellish nightmare that has plagued me since that awful day in October 1989.

Is that even possible? I pray that it’ll be possible.

Please make it possible.

suicidal thoughts? nah!

A few days ago on the news, a 15 year old girl, took her life. She didn’t say why she did it on her suicide note which made sense because she doesn’t need to explain herself to anyone anyway.

However, I felt sad. Not only because this person felt so down in the pits that she didn’t see any hope out of whatever dilemma she was experiencing. But also because she was physically normal and didn’t know how big a blessing that already is.

I realized compared to her, I have more reason to kill myself.

But I didn’t. And I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I had.

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